Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
