this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
