My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
