I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
