you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
