I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there was a trapeze. enough said
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
