Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
