Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
