this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
