Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize