Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We need to rekindle our bromance
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
