I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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