I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I enjoy the company of your penis
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
