Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize