You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
