I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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