dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
