Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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