I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
