What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
