Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
FUCK WHALES
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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