They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
