Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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