we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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