i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
