is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize