She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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