it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
