Sry I called you an 8
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
