Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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