Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
