How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Small penises have feelings too.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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