Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i think my cat just said my name.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
