Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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