No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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