you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize