so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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