I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
