dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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