It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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