My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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