You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
this boner is exhausting
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
