her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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