Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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