Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
