12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
