Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
