We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
