Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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