what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
