i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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