omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
