I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
