end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
