yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
