I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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