ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
