I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Couch. On fire.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
