Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
