What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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