Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
